Swine flu: the woo edition

Posted: August 18, 2009 in facts, medical, what's wrooong with those men, woo
Tags: , ,

Swine flu has been good for woo and woomeisters, who always profit when a new terrible disease spreads,provided there are people who feel helpless and afraid, and provided the ruthless blood-thirsty quacks ready to exploit their feelings of hopelessness and fear for monetary gain, and the satisfaction of doing something evil, again lie in wait in the general vicinity, which they always do. They’re like vultures in a way, minus the cool talons and awesome beaks.

mantis

1. In Israel, we have Snakes Rabbis on a Plane (links to teh vid). Leviticus 16:DUMB clearly states that in case of a flu epidemic, one uses shofars to ward off the disease. And lo and behold, for baffled and perplexed, the disease goes away, head bowed in shame. I’d be, like, laughing at them, but it’s so stupid. On the other hand, I cannot justify being angry, either. This is, basically absolutely hysterical.

Yeah, sure it’s gonna work!

2. In Malaysia, we have acidity woo with the extra homophobia and Kellogism*.

Dr.V.M.Palaniappan patiently mansplains explains that the best way to avoid the swine flu is to abstain from:

a. gay sex (“normalnormal sexual union between members of the opposite sex was absolutely safe” though),

b. masturbation,

c. running a marathon, although it’s not like anybody thought it was fun in the first place.

Dr. V. M. Palaniappan knows this will prevent contagion, because he is not:

a. having gay sex,

b. masturbating (though he sure seems like one hell of a wanker),

c. running any marathons,

and he’s perfectly healthy, so there! You have your proof! Wait, what? Anecdotal evidence? What anecdotal evidence?

I’m still hoping a “normal sexual union between members of the opposite sex**” proves detrimental to Dr. V. M. Palaniappan’s health when he has sex with a mantis***.

Man, that was sexy.

*

In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement.

** Notice how it’ not specified how many members. A gross negligence.

*** A normal member of the opposite sex mantis.

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Comments
  1. […] being so perversely interested in other people’s fashion choices and sex lives, and maybe, start a crusade against woo or […]

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