Warning: please refrain from drinking any beverages while reading this post. The penis part made me spit some coffee on my monitor.)

1. This is so absolutely stupid it sounds like a parody, but, apparently, is for real. So, the USian extreme right is demanding to be shown Obama’s penis.

(I’ll give you 15 seconds to laugh.

Or cry.

Whichever you prefer.)

Here’s the link.

This is actually pretty ingenious, because if the presidential penis* is circumcised, then the barmy right-wingers will still get to make shrilly shouts of outrage at him being a Muslim. If the presidential penis** is not circumcised, they will get to be outraged about the president not really being an American. Obviously, a win-win situation.

2. Brilliant PR stunt by some scientists: a book titled Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress has an article about zombie epidemiology.

“It’s imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else… we are all in a great deal of trouble,”

say the authors of the zombie paper. Also,

“My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it’s dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days.”

Thank you, professor. That’s very uplifting.

(Why a brilliant stunt: because it’s very efficacious. I want that book now *facepalm*)

3. Thirdly, men in the Bahamas are valiantly opposing the criminalisation of maritial rape, because the Bible tells them to *facepalm*.

Why aren’t they pushing for the criminalization of seafood consumption, though? Because they’re using their holy book to validate their preexisting notions regarding sexual policy?

What an absurd idea! Of course not! < / sarcasm >

Meanwhile, let’s pray*** for their dicks rotting and falling off.

*an alliteration I wanted to make all my life. Thank you, crazy fringe conspiracy theorists.

** Heee. I did it again! <3

*** Cthulhu fthagn!

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