So much bad cognitive science, I can write two posts, yay (NO)

Posted: September 3, 2009 in bad cognitive science, facts, internets, woo
Tags: , , , , , ,

So, as it happens, I often troll Unfunny Business for my weekly daily weekly dose of moral outrage. And Darwin’s pants, did I hit the jackpot this week!

So, we have two hack cognitive scientists, one of whom – Ogi Ogas, as it later turns out, is actually in no way affiliated with Boston University, as he would like us to believe. Oops.
But he got this amazing pop-sciencey book deal anyway, right? SO CAN YOU! SO CAN I! The title of the brilliant opus is:

RULE 34: WHAT NETPORN TEACHES US ABOUT THE BRAIN
by Drs. Ogi Ogas & Sai Gaddam (Dutton, 2010)

*Facepalm* guys I can see the headlines already!  There Is Porn On The Internets! Will Anybody Think Of Our Children? People Read Porn, Twitter Makes You Evil, Say Scientists, and so on, and so forth.

I seriously can’t wait till the book is finally published, and Bad Cognitive Science meets Bad Science Reporting. It will be like the Titanic and the iceberg, only, joining forces! In an epic battle against the rest of the world the very fabric of reality! I’M WAITING WITH BATED BREATH!

But I digress.

Ogi Ogas (who has locked his LJ, because people started dog-piling on him. How will he survive the peer-review process, I wonder? Note how his icon has a brain on it. This is because he’s a serious neuroscientist. This little bit of trivial detail is important, because as we will discover later on, icons turn out to be very one of the crucial parts of this wank cognitive science fail) and Sai Gaddam post a survey in a fandom-related community. The survey is about slash fan fiction, and the aim is to, basically prove that male and female sexuality is different. The facts concerning aims and methods of the study is something that could be gleaned from Ogas/Gaddam’s TL;DR survey FAQ. Before they deleted/locked it, because people started criticising them. Um. And it was valid criticism. Whatever.

Anyway, Ogas/Gaddam lock everything. They also think it’s OK to start changing questions when the survey is already in progress. The questions themselves are not at all leading oh no no no , and you couldn’t at all tell what the authors’ intent was and at what conclusion they wanted to arrive.

By the way, this is the internets. Nothing can be ever deleted. There’s Google cache, Wayback Machine, and screen-capping tools >_>, and therefore  part one, part two of the survey:

31. What specific fan fiction story would you most like to live out as one of its characters? (If possible, please provide the name of the story, fandom, and author.)

Conclusion: fan fiction authors live vicariously their deprived kinky erotica-consumerist lives through their stories. Also, what’s with the obsession about identifying with fictional characters? I don’t enjoy Naomi Novik’s novels, because I secretly think I’m totally like Temeraire, and I don’t enjoy Writing Systems: An Introduction to their Linguistic Analysis, because I secretly identify with the Vai syllabary*. That’s absurd.

32. Which fictional character do you think could be your ideal mate?

Yeah, sure, mate. See above.

35. Do you use alcohol or illicit non-prescription drugs (e.g., marijuana) while reading fan fiction?

Conclusion: porn-readers are deprived and sick, scientists say, AND ARE THE MEDIA HERE YET? ARE THEY HERE YET? GOSH THIS BOOK IS GONNA SELL LIEK WHOA!111

37. If you read slash, do you identify with the characters while you’re reading?

Agaaain. Conclusion: all women secretly want penises. Yaaaaaaaawn.

62. What is the gender of the icon/avatar you use to represent yourself on LiveJournal or other communities?

Before you say anything, I’d like to point out that Ogas’s avatar = icon is a picture of a brain. What would that mean? And is the brain a female brain or a male brain??? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

70. Do you believe in true love?

Conclusion: Aw, those silly little wimminz, lol.

And this was not supposed to be their preliminary survey, either *facepalm*. Not to mention the methodological mistakes (like, why would they want to rely so much on self-reporting???), they didn’t even try to be upfront and say they were writing a book about “netporn”.

More links are here, including to screencaps of the whole debacle. With the bonus of Ogas being a complete transphobic fuckwad (general transphobia; “tranny” <– in general, major fail is to be observed in the thread, as Ogas tries to explain to the little silly wimminz that pretty (= Ogas wants to have sex with them) females are attracted to pretty (= similar to Ogas) men, because the African savanna made them so, LOL STUPID; shemale).

Seriously, though, I do hope the media won’t pick up on the book. The fallout would give me a migraine for weeks.

*I totally could, though. These letters, they are pretty.

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Comments
  1. Elfwreck says:

    This post has been included in a linkspam roundup.

  2. atwitter says:

    OMG I never thought the survey would generate so many posts. GUYS YOU’RE AWESOME :D

  3. pillowscrapbook says:

    i wonder whether all males, who watch lesbian porn secretly want to have breasts and loose their penises :)

    (lier, everyone sees that not only do you identify with the Vai syllabary, but you also secretly desire to invite other alphabets to an orgy with a perverse use of bad spelling.)

  4. atwitter says:

    Oh, but you see, they are maaaaaaaleeeeeeee. So that means they can keep their porn and penises. Meanwhile, the silly little wimminz should know better than to presume they can watch/read porn, or have sex drives at all. They’d better learn to fake orgasms instead!

    (ON HO FOILED AGAIN. I knew I should have said I identify with cuneiform or something, and everybody would know that’s absurd and not true.
    Mmmm, Vai spelling mistakes, so sexy <3<3<3 )

  5. pillowscrapbook says:

    alas it’s so true, I’ve never heard about any research on the subject: why males need porn, or why they like their porn the way they like it :/

  6. atwitter says:

    Silly woman!
    Males need porn because the African savanna made them so QED! You don’t need any facts or anything
    =_=
    =_=
    =_=
    =_=
    The stupidity of male privilege: it will make me violent and homicidal, one day.

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