Two men (one asshat), some Marxists, one saved kitten, and a whole lot of schadenfreude

Posted: September 17, 2009 in links, what's wrooong with those men, wtf?
Tags: , , , , ,

(I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!)

Nothing feels better than having your literary dislikes validated.

As it happens, I’ve hated John Irving and his books for at least a decade. I hated every word of Garp (blargh), when I started reading it being a fifteen-year-old almost-but-not-quite nice person. I still have no idea how and why, why on Earth did I finish it at all. Suffice it to say, there was pain, and suffering, and fail fail fail fail fail fail, and it might have made me hate USian literature for a couple of years*.

A lot of things happened  in the intervening decade.

I learned like six languages or so.

I shaved my hair, and it was fun, and all my professors were afraid of me until it grew back.

(I still regret that it had to grow back)

I realised I was gay**.

Poland became a member of the EU.

I realised I will always vote for the most leftist party that has any chances of actually getting into the parliament.

There was a war in Afghanistan, and another one in Iraq.

However, during all those years, I never wavered in my passionate hatred for John Irving and his crappy shitty piss-poor excuses for books. I never forgot about my disdain for all things John-Irvingish.


“My response is as brutally upper class as I can make it,” he (John Irving) has said, adding later that Vermont “has a high degree of knee-jerk presumptions against the rich” and against people “who weren’t born here. There’s a minority which is an open target in this country which no one protects, and that’s rich people.”

LOL PLZ SAY IT AIN’T SO.  It must be so terribly, terribly hard being rich, what with all those money causing you migraines whenever you don’t know how to spend it, which happens frequently, especially since they started adding all those security features to the bills, and they don’t burn quite as prettily as they used to, so you can’t well be making cigars out of them anymore.

I weep with you, brother, and I weep for you.

And all that because a US state decides to divide its taxes  more efficiently, so that children from poorer towns have an equal access to education. How terrible! How outrageous! How Marxist!

I’m seriously not making this up.

(Also, Marxists. Bwahaha. IF ONLY!)

In the other corner, we’ve got Eddie Izzard who ran around the UK to raise money for charity. He even saved a kitten.

Two conclusions follow:

1. Eddie Izzard > John Irving srsly

2. Eddie Izzard needs to have a superhero comic written about him saving kittens, with lots of kittens in dangerous life-threatening situations, and Eddie Izzard pulling death-defying stunts to get them off all those trees at last.


* Not really. Do we need a rec post? I could do one! I’m easy!

** As far as realisations go, this one wasn’t very exciting. It mostly went like “LOL TITS YAY”. Then I trolled off to read something, most likely.

I don’t even remember anymore. That’s how unexciting it was.

I’d want to say that I realised that I was an atheist, too, but (un)fortunately, that had happened much earlier than ten years ago.


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