Posts Tagged ‘pope’

1)  The German one: Sag JA zum Papst:

via

2) The French one. The French one is tricky, because it shows you a penis, and a condom, and the penis and the condom together. This is why we have to note that it is NSFW. It’s also about AIDS. This is why its says things about people dying. On the upside, it’s got English subtitles: Des majorettes dans l’espace:

via

A gay couple now lives in a flat that was left to the former pope by a “devout Catholic” woman in Madrid. Predictably, the Catholics are outraged.

The Pinoy Catholic writes despondently:

The Web site commented “The gay couple, who are now married, also against the Church’s wishes, now enjoy dinner parties showing the escrituras (deeds) of the flat with the name of the Pope.” [He never lived in the place.  Obviously, the journalist and the gay couple WANT to draw attention, which they got, which irritates a devout Catholic like me. Cheap trick, isn’t it?  Well, as they say in the PR world, “Any publicity is good publicity.] [emphasis mine]

2010: Catholics still outraged over the existence of gay people.

(TPC: I laugh at you!)

(TPC is chock-full of Catholic nonsense about fairies, demons, exorcists and stuff. I bet he’d welcome some atheist trolls guests readers, I mean readers!)

Some moar Catholic existential angst from Clerical Whispers:

When a devout Catholic woman left her home in … in Madrid, to Pope John Paul II, she probably didn’t expect its future occupants to be a couple of homos. [emphasis mine]

OH NOEZ NOT THE HOMOS!!!11! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!!

A typically non-humorous example of religionist humour:

Might we score an invitation?

We know of this delicious amuse bouche wafer.

Aw shucks.  Is this the time of the year when we desecrate hosts again?

Meanwhile, the Universe continues cruelly not to care.

(News English Spanish Polish <— because nobody else cares, duh)

(via TTDKN)

Which is all very well, since it would indubitably be Vogon-awful.

Anyway!

In the process of researching silly memes for my meme-post, which I will post tomorrow(1), I came across this gem:

“The two-horned mitre, which the Pope wears, when he sits on the high altar at Rome and receives the adoration of the Cardinals, is the very mitre worn by the priests of Dagon, the fish-god of the Philistines and Babylonians.”

NO JOHN RINGO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Do I have to list things that are wrong with this one very short sentence? Yes, I have:

1. It’s not two-horned. Don’t even try to suggest that it’s anything like the Mesopotamian Hörnerkrone, because you will be wrong, and I will tell you why you are wrong, where you are just wrong, and where you are wronger than wrong, and then proceed to verbally abuse you just because I can.

2. The pope, as far as I can tell, rarely sits on an altar.

3. Especially not when the cardinals are present, I should think.

4. No one has any bloody idea as to what the priests of Dagon actually wore.

5. And it was most likely different in different places and periods, and, you know. Dagan was a god with more or less 2000 years of well attested worship history from Middle Euphrates area to the Levantine coast. Does anybody(2) really expect there would be a standardised priestly uniform in that entire area during the 2000 year period? No, I didn’t think so.

6. Dagan was not a fish-god. This is in fact an old meme, made up by St Jerome and other early Christian theologians.

7. The Levantine coast was full of people, and, le gasp, not all of them were Philistines.

8. Babylonians weren’t really so hot about Dagan. He was primarily a Syrian deity.

This is how many things are wrong with just one sentence. Shall we even proceed? Yes, we shall, because I’m a nasty person and will not hesitate to kick a defeated meme, even after it already died and, went stiff, decomposed, and even stopped smelling funny ages ago.

The Mystery religion of ancient Babylon / Assyria, was noted for the priestly class of “Dagon” in much the same way that the “Mystery” religion of Rome has copied it.

NOOOOOOOOO!

1. While Dagan was indeed also worshipped in Assyria and Babylonia, he was primary a Syrian deity. Please note also that in the cuneiform his name was spelled “Dagan”, because cuneiform has no sign for “o”.

2. This is also a good moment to mention that while the imagination of modern day ignoramuses would suggest that there were only two different groups in the Ancient Near East, namely a) the Jewish people, b) the pagan people, this is a very inaccurate impression. There were marked differences between the inhabitants of southern and northern Mesopotamia, Elam (parts of modern Iran), various regions of Syria (the contrast that is easiest to see is inland Syria – coastal Syria), the Levantine coast, etc. The contrast between the Jewish people and the neighbouring pagan people, on the other hand, wasn’t as great as it’s usually made out to be in monotheistic memes.

3. There was very little “Mystery” in the ANE religions, I’m afraid(3).

4. Even less mystery in the Catholic Church(3).

5. It’s easier to parse cultural exchange when you think that religious concepts were copied by C&P sort of a deal between various religionists, but the thing is, this is absolutely incorrect. It would be more accurate to say that from a large pool of shared ideas, the most attractive were chosen and improved upon (there are gods in my city; they are stronger than the gods of our neighbours –> there is god in my city; he is stronger than the gods of our neighbours, because they don’t exist, etc).

There’s nothing in the Bible that indicates that Jesus wore such a hat.

Or a watch. Or boots. Or a dozen of other things, and yet. What sort of an argument is that?

Also, I don’t think there’s a tendency in most world’s religions to clothe the class of religious specialists in what their god used to wear.

Incidentally, even with my tenuous grasp of Catholic theology I  understand perfectly well that it’s not Jesus but St Peter whom the pope is supposed to represent, anyway.

But there’s moar!

“…there are strong evidences that Dagon was Nimrod…. All scholars agree that the name and worship of Dagon were imported from Babylonia. ”
– The Two Babylons, Hislop, p. 215

Absolutely not. All scholars agree that the name and worship of Dagan were exported to Babylonia.

“In their veneration and worship of Dagon, the high priest of paganism would actually put on a garment that had been created from a huge fish! The head of the fish formed a mitre above that of the old man, while its scaly, fan-like tail fell as a cloak behind, leaving the human limbs and feet exposed.”
– Babylon and Nineveh, Austen Henry Layard, p. 343

And here we get to the crux of crankery! Because A.H. Layard, one of the fathers of assyriology, was born in 1817, and died in 1894. This means that when he was excavating Nimrud – or, as the ancients called it, Kalhu – in the late 1840, he knew virtually nothing about the history and cultures of the Ancient Near East apart from what the Bible told him. Cuneiform – the writing system that was used by many civilisations in the ANE, was being deciphered at the time. Not only were there not nearly enough tablets recovered from ancient sites for the scholars to have any sensible idea of what the civilisations of ANE looked like, but the cuneiform tablets that were recovered? Well, bummer, but people couldn’t really read them yet. By 1851 Rawlinson and Hicks could read about 200 signs, and while it is enough to read most texts that are concerned with daily life, it is not enough to read religious texts at all. Which you would have to find and identify as religious texts first, anyway.

What we have is: an awe-struck Victorian scholar, uncovering for the first time in thousands of years monumental buildings and sculptures(4) that depicted stuff that must have been so absolutely incomprehensible to him as to be almost alien. He had no primary sources to help him interpret what he saw, apart from the Bible, and the works of early Christians and Roman literati. The Roman (and Greek) literati would have been awestruck, too, only none of them really saw what Layard did, because most Babylonian and Assyrian cities had long been destroyed by the time they were active (or, their Assyrian or Babylonian architecture, and do bear in mind that in a war, palaces and temples are the first to be plundered).

Therefore, when Layard saw men in fish costumes what could he possibly do but make up exciting stuff about wicked oriental pagan cults?

fish genius from Kalhu, has nothing to do with Dagan at all

There you go; a brief googling provided us with a photo of the nice fish guy from Kalhu. Nowadays we know that he was no priest, but a so-called genius, who was supposed to protect the king (whose palace was located in Kalhu) from evil.

(Incidentally, there was no temple of Dagan in Kalhu at all, which is to be expected in an Assyrian city)

“The most prominent form of worship in Babylon was dedicated to Dagon, later known as Ichthys, or the fish. In Chaldean times, the head of the church was the representative of Dagon, he was considered to be infallible, and was addressed as ‘Your Holiness’. Nations subdued by Babylon had to kiss the ring and slipper of the Babylonian god-king. The same powers and the same titles are claimed to this day by the Dalai Lama of Buddhism, and the Pope. Moreover, the vestments of paganism, the fish mitre and robes of the priests of Dagon are worn by the Catholic bishops, cardinals and popes.
-The Wine of Babylon; Pg 9

No, the most prominent form of worship in Babylon was of course dedicated to Marduk, the patron-deity of Babylon *eyeroll*. There was no such thing as “head of church” in the Ancient Near East at all. There were various temples with their own hierarchy of priests, and the importance of various temples was largely dependant on the current religio-political situation. To make is as simple as possible, in the third millenium BCE the most important temples that got most sacrifices and donations were the temples of Anum, who, it was thought,  awarded kingship to the kings. The situation changed in the second millenium BCE, when Enlil got more important than Anum(5).

The excavations done of ancient Nineveh and Babylon have shed light on the shocking connection between Dagon the fish-god and the Pope’s Mitre (hat).

Repeat after me: NO DAGAN IN NINIVEH, NO DAGAN IN NINIVEH, NO DAGAN IN NINIVEH, NO DAGAN IN NINIVEH.

Also, no Niniveh in Niniveh, really, which is something I probably should have said from the start. This only shows how really very little the first assyriologists knew about the stuff they were studying: Layard thought that Kalhu (which we discussed above, and which was the city he discovered) was the biblical city of Niniveh. The book he wrote about Niniveh is actually about Kalhu. The title of the modern editions of Layard’s book is usually left unchanged, but, for Ashshur’s sake, this stuff is on Wiki.

But I guess that if you’re a dimwitted incompetent crank you just wouldn’t bother to research that, would you?

Research, pah. It must be for Catholics or something *eyeroll*.

(1) OTOH: we (La Housemate, La Kidlet, and me) were making stuff from Salzteig, which is like home-made Play-Doh. I bravely produced: demented pig (one), demented cat (one), Dalek army (two Daleks) and the Great Cthulhu. Therefore, I might want to spend tomorrow painting it all  pink and sprinkling my Dalek army with pink glitter instead of blogging.  I am actually seriously considering my options at the moment.

(2) Anybody sane, that is.

(3) In fact, the only mystery I can think of is “so, why did they believe all that bullshit again?”

(4)Yup, some of what he found is in British Museum. It’s HUGE.

(5) This is of course a gross oversimplification. But if you’re a non-specialist you’re probably not interested in the exact chronology of which god was most important where and why.

1. The things happening to LGBT people in Iraq are horrifying. I hope at least they seek asylum in some western countries easily (if they manage to escape, that is) (via Camels with Hammers):

On a bright afternoon in late March, an 18-year-old named Fadi stood in a friend’s clothing store in Baghdad checking out the new merchandise. A worker in a neighboring store walked into the boutique with a newspaper in his hand and shared a story he had just read. It was about “sexual deviants,” he said. Gay men’s rectums had been glued shut, and they had been force-fed laxatives and water until their insides exploded. They had been found dead on the street.

And this is just the first paragraph.

All of the men who had escaped Iraq were still very fragile. The evening after I arrived, I met a slim man in his late twenties named Mukhaled. A driver for a Baghdad delivery company, Mukhaled had been in only one relationship in his life, with a man named Ali whom he met in high school. Ali was a year younger than Mukhaled. They lived in the same neighborhood and, as far as anyone knew, were just friends.

One day in April, armed men burst into Ali’s house and shot him dead. There were incriminating photographs of Mukhaled and Ali in Ali’s bedroom, and other personal information that could lead the death squads to Mukhaled. For the next two and a half months, Mukhaled slept at the homes of different friends, and sometimes in a park. He lost twenty pounds. His black hair became streaked with gray. He worried that people were following him and planning to kill him. And then one day a woman named Rasha called him. She said she had been given his name and number by a gay friend of his. She said she was from New York, but was phoning him from a safe city inside Iraq, and asked if he needed any help. Mukhaled left Baghdad for the safe city inside Iraq on July 3, and moved to the second refuge city shortly after that.

There are no words.

2. Something of which I have been completely unaware is that in a developed and civilised western country like the Australia* 90% of women with intellectual disabilities were abused at some point in their lives, and many of them by their care-givers.

Women with disabilities, unlike their non-disabled counterparts, are much more likely to be the victims of other crimes of violence, such as assaults and theft. In South Australia, Wilson and Brewer (1992) found that women with an intellectual disability were more than 10 times as likely to be assaulted as other women.

Other statistics indicate that 90% of women with intellectual disabilities have been sexually abused. 68% of women with an intellectual disability will be subjected to sexual abuse before they reach 18 (Frohmader, 2002).

There is a dearth of research in Australia about the relationship between gender, violence and disability. Research into the extent of violence against women with disabilities in Australia is also limited by the lack of data collected on disability by law enforcement agencies and violence support services (Cattalini, 1993; Sobsey and Doe, 1991). Traditionally, much of the literature on violence against women with disabilities has tended to focus particularly on sexual abuse and mainly in relation to people with intellectual disabilities (McCarthy, 1996; Sobsey and Doe, 1991).

Overseas studies have found that women with disabilities, regardless of age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or class are assaulted, raped and abused at a rate of at least two times greater than non-disabled women (Sobsey, 1988, 1994; Cusitar,1994; Stimpson and Best,1991; DAWN 1988).

Sobsey (1988) suggests that 83% of women with disabilities will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. A qualitative study by Nosek, found approximately one third of women with physical disability had experienced sexual abuse at some stage in their life (Nosek, 1996). Similarly, in Doucette’s study of Canadian women with disabilities, 40% experienced abuse and 12% had been raped (Nosek, 1996).

There are relatively few studies into the incidence of physical violence and rates vary widely. A study for the Canadian Ministry of Community and Social Services in Toronto found 33% of women with disabilities were assaulted mostly by their husbands compared with 22% of non-disabled women (Nosek, 1996). Feuestein estimates that upward of 85% of women with disabilities are victims of domestic violence in comparison with 25% to 50 % of the general population (cited in Waxman, 1991).

This is, incidentally, why humans should have been replaced by cockraoches a long time ago.

Also, this pdf, too.

Also, USA.

3. When you’re naive and young you might think to yourself that there’s no way a commercial for raising breast cancer awareness could ever be so very very very wrong you’ll want to pull your hair out when you see it.

But it can!

You see, because women’s tits are only here for other people’s entertainment.

Where by “people”, I mean “men”, of course.

(Also, every woman enjoys having her tits ogled. It means she’s appreciated!** And we, wimminz, the shallow and vain creatures that we are, cannot possibly live without that sort of validation***)

Article, vid:

4. The Catholic Church proudly announces that the abuse and rapes of children perpetrated by Catholic priests were all because of the ghey. You see, there were no paedophiles in the CC! Also,

He said: “Of all priests involved in the abuses, 80 to 90 per cent belong to this sexual orientation minority which is sexually engaged with adolescent boys between the ages of 11 and 17.”

Tomasi added that it would be “more correct” to refer to ephebophilia, a homosexual attraction to adolescent males, than paedophilia.

Um. Personally, I always find people who go on prattling about how it’s oh-so important to keep paedophilia and ephebophilia apart a bit skeevy. It’s almost as if they were suggesting that ephebophilia is like the lesser evil or something.

That or too much Plato.

Also: Yay, CC, we know you hate us already. Shut up, you’re boring.

He added that “available research” showed that only 1.5 to five per cent of Catholic clergy had been implicated in cases of child sex abuse.

Hahahaha. YES PLEASE SHOW US YOUR LEARNINGS RESEARCH!

5. Crazy things happen when cheerleaders are no longer allowed to use Bible quotes o.O (via Camels with Hammers again). Watch the vid! It’s, like, at first it seemed to me to be a 1) joke, 2)Confessions of a Hardened Criminal or something, but the guys are actually proud of themselves. Wow.

Um, wow. Jut wow.

6. The pope weighs in again, this time on materialism. IN AFRICA.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dude, when you pee on a golden see it’s maybe a tad hypocritical to criticise for materialism people whose HDI so low almost their entire continent is in red red red on this cute little map? But no.

Food is evil, and so are the condoms.

* This was completely unironic.

** I’d like the person who thought of the commercial to choke on their own dick, or a giant dildo.

*** *Froths at the mouth*

According to Google, the pope eats:

babies (1200 hits)

children (520)

Sadly, he doesn’t eat:

Brussels sprouts (0)

biscuits (0)

foetuses (0)

Further research into the dietary habits of the pope will be conducted as soon as Sendaianonymous obtains some grant money moar coffee.