Archive for the ‘cogito ergo sum’ Category

OK, I know I just should keep my hands to myself, and take a cold shower, BUT. Cogito Ergo Sum, he’s so stupid, and I just can’t stoooooop reaaaaaaaaaading.

(Let me assure you that I checked several times whether he wasn’t a 13-year-old boy pretending to be an adult. This is because I don’t get my kicks out of laughing at little kiddies. BUT HE WASN’T.)

Uh-huh. The trainwreck begins as Cogito Ergo Sum shares his thoughts on gay people with the rest of the class:

This post is in response to a fellow blogger who reported on a Bishop of Church of England. It is not the intention of this post to mock or criticize or insult the homosexual community. But frankly I don’t understand why this tension exists between the Church and the community.

See, he’s a nice guy. He won’t mock!

(Is this because he couldn’t tell mockery if it was stuffed down his throat, and later had the bears maul him?)

He starts with a strong case:

If you want to be a part of the religion then you have to accept its doctrines. Or else you’re simply not a part of the religion. Mutilating a faith and its doctrines just so you can be accepted serves no purpose other than to force a social group to embrace you for your sexuality. This is a sort of emotional, political and social blackmail.

Strong case of intergalactic flu and Baby Dropped on Their Head Syndrome. Because, like most Christians, Cogito has never read the Bible, and even if he did, his reading comprehension skills are so severely lacking, he has to believe that even allowing teh gays into churches “mutilates” his “faith”. The education is that way!

Even the Devil believes in God, right?

No idea. Have you tried asking him? I must be worse than devil, though, because I don’t. Come to think of it, I don’t believe in the devil, either.

I don’t get what the homosexual communities issue is. If you aim to change the religion then you’d might as well abandon it or create your own occult practice, because that is just as good as changing the one that is there. I’m sorry that you feel unaccepted by them, but if that is the case then that is the case. It is what it is (emphasis mine — Sara).

OH MY DARWIN YES! He did say it!

For those who failed to catch up: there are other people who “aimed to change the religion”. Just to name a few, let’s maybe start with Jesus. Then, Paul (the epistolary guy), then some lesser known figures, like Luther or Calvin. Note how Cogito just called their religions “occult practice”. AHAHAHAHAHA.

Accept the religion for what it is or don’t accept it at all… why the religious intolerance? Is that not hypocritical of you? You criticize the religion for a lack of tolerance for you, but you fail to tolerate the religion for what it stands for.

Funny that you should say that, Cogito. Have you read the Bible yet? Is that not hypocritical of you? You criticise the gays for lack of tolerance for you, but you fail to inform yourself as to what your holy book actually stands for.

What are you accomplishing by mutilating a religion and its beliefs just so that you can be accepted into it? Would that help to validate you? Would it help you to feel better and sleep better at night?

We, gay people, don’t sleep that well at night. This is because we’re busy having sex.

Gay sex.

With each other.

Gayly!

Does it alleviate your own guilt for being gay? Would religious acceptance make you feel less of a sinner? I imagine it does work like that.

To alleviate my own guilt for making this drivel known to people whom I like and respect, I will put “have moar gay sex this month” into my Gay Agenda Magical Pink Sparkly Memo Pad.

You might be able to force societies and laws to change, but you cannot force a religion.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is why Catholic priests are still allowed to marry, and we’ve been constantly having crusades in Europe since the Middle Ages. Also, the pope is a die-hard monarchist*.

A religion is by definition spiritual, transcendental in nature. At least, anyone who would want to be a part of the church would validate the fact that religions purport to be associated with spiritual matters.

I might be mistaken, but I hardly call the religious peoples’ interest in what I might do with a pink sparkly dildo in my free time transcendental. Or even spiritual.

God has spoken, right?

But have you read the Bible yet? And I don’t mean the abridged picture version.

The law-setter?

I don’t know. In my country, it’s usually the Parliament that does the wacky stuff with the law.

No amount of petitioning will change Gods mind about homosexuality.

OF COURSE, ONLINE PETITIONS NEVER WORK, DUH.
On a more serious note, though, it’s hard to change something that doesn’t exist (God). Even harder to change something that doubly doesn’t exist (the non-existent mind of a non-existent God). You can, however, try to change your homophobic hateful self, sweetheart**.

If you don’t accept that then you don’t believe in the faith. What more is there for you to do?

Point and laugh. Crochet. Have moar coffee. Lots of things!

A rose by any other name is still a rose. No matter how offensive an adjective or a lifestyle may be, a sinner is a sinner.

OK. Is the adjective that offends you “gay”? Gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay “>gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay ^__^***.

Also: no matter how offensive an adjective or a lifestyle may be, an ignorant homophobic fuckwad is still an ignorant homophobic fuckwad.

Also: SHAKESPEARE QUOTE HOW MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

You can still believe in God and believe you’re going to hell at the same time, right?

Oh, those loving Xians, oh! You  make me feel soooo good about myself. Because, no matter what I do, I still won’t be able to beat that, right?

In fact, that sort of self-doubt is humble and virtuous, quite unlike the guilty Christians who confidently believe they are going to be sitting right next to Christ during every dinner, overly confident that they have earned a place in heaven, lower their guard and let sin set in.

What matters though is: do they let it in anally?

Surprise!

But was it surprise buttsex?

Don’t you think that you should be appeasing the church, instead of the state, in matters of religion?

Oh, I simply love this guy. “Appease”. I don’t think it means what you think it means! Look it up!

As a religious and spiritual construct, marriage is what you seek to achieve. As a social and legal construct, the notion of civil unity is far less meaningful and is less to the end of what you seek.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. “Marriage”, my dear demented fuckwad, is entirely a social construct. Have you any idea what it looks like, or what it looked like in other cultures? No, of course not, why would you? Why would you even be interested, when you can remain blissfully ignorant forever instead?

(Do we need a gigantic series of “Marriage in (insert period/place)” posts to show people how limited and biased their own ideas of marriage are?)

Personally, I think that you suffer a delusional false belief that forcing a church, a body of men, to recognize you; that somehow God will as well.

Here, have some charming rapey gay imagery, what with “forcing the body of men”. Coincidence? NO WAI.

I think that it is a form of perversion to actively undermine a religion, not unlike atheists, under the false premise of virtuosity.

Um, so we had a false premise where we DIDN’T outright say we wanted to undermine religion? Guys, you need to update my forwarding address for the Atheist Agenda memos, I moved!

I’m also afraid “virtuosity” doesn’t really mean what you think it means. Look it up!

The churches believe that you lack moral fortification.

My pillow fort doesn’t count? Damn. Or, did you perhaps mean “moral fortitude”?

It seems true from my perspective in light of these realizations.

This is the last sentence. It doesn’t make any sense. His entire fapping essay makes no sense, but this makes even less. Charming!

(Dear homophobes: yes, this is what you look like. This is how stupid one has to be in order to become one of you.)

* Who knows, he might be. B16 is, just like his predecessor, completely batshit.

**  Please don’t. You’re too entertaining.

*** Daily passive-aggressive smiley quota filled! ERFOLG****!

**** FOREIGN LANGUAGE HOW MEAN.

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