Archive for the ‘stupid people’ Category

There’s been a horrible earthquake and tsunami in Japan, and the areas where I lived, and where my friends and their families still (hopefully :( :( :( ) live were terribly affected. Many people are completely forgetting the tragedy and instead engaging in pathetic scaremongering and thoughtlessly spreading nuclear panic: those numbers you hear on the TV, they sound rather scary, but if you remember what they actually mean for you (if you’re in the US or EU or China or Russia: they mean nothing will happen to you, so kindly shut up), and what happens to many radioactive isotopes after a relatively short time

(do I really need to say this? This is primary school-lever physics, and I say it as someone who was never really interested in hard science, apart from the brief period when I was 12 and wanted to be nuclear physicist: nuclear: because it’s the coolest thing ever, and physicist: because my mum is too — but I digress)

you will realize that only people who are really in danger right now are those working at the Fukushima 1 power plant, for whose work and dedication everybody should be grateful, although concepts such as being grateful are hardly ever mentioned by Western media.

I wonder why.

Anyway, I’ll just quote from the banana equivalent dose article for those who are too lazy to read the links:

Many foods are naturally radioactive, and bananas are particularly so, due to the radioactive potassium-40, or 40K they contain. Bananas are radioactive enough to regularly cause false alarms on radiation sensors used to detect possible illegal smuggling of nuclear material at U.S. ports. A medium-sized banana contains about 450 mg of potassium. 40K makes up 0.0117% of this, or about 53 μg, which produces 14 radioactive decays per second (dps), or 0.37 nCi of radiation. If the banana is eaten, the dose equivalent is about 0.01 mrem, which is equivalent to 0.1 μSv (emphasis mine).

See? You’ve been eating radioactive stuff for ages and didn’t even know about it.

Anyway, have you seen this video? It’s a bit too late, because the situation in the power plant seems to be under control, I’ve just seen the NHK news, and they managed to get the wanter into reactor 3, and it seems they’re pretty optimistic, but anyway, this explanation is the easiest to understand there is:

Some people have said that it’s for Japanese children and USian adults, but this is not true: the video must have been made for the German government. If they watch it, perhaps they stop scaremongering.

Maybe.

But I wouldn’t get our hopes up.

***

Anyway: back to People and Their Priorities.

Imagine you’re in a town terribly affected by the tsunami. You see only ruins, ruins, and ruins; and you know that under the ruins there are dead people who didn’t manage to escape. The people who did manage to evacuate are now in a shelter, most likely they don’t have enough blankets and food, because the railways might have been destroyed, and there’s very little gasoline, and the help from the government hasn’t arrived yet. There are many old people, because younger people have mostly moved to bigger cities, leaving their parents and grandparents behind, in little villages on the seashore , old people  many of whom are quite ill, there is however very little medicine left, and the doctors haven’t arrived so far. It’s very cold and it’s snowing, but there’s very little oil for the stoves — and in any case, there’s only one stove — so the people in the shelter are only turning the stove on during the cold night*.

What do you do? You take some photos. Sensible:  people will be sorry and might donate some money for the victims:

Maybe one more:

So what do you do? I know!

SAVE A FISH.

I wish I was kidding:

Sorry, but if there are people who have no food and no warm clothes, and it’s snowing, and it’s cold, and three old ladies have to share one blanket, and there’s only one stove, I will so fucking judge if you go around saving ~*fish*~

So! Let’s do more than Tarah and Carisa, let’s  do more than just save a fish. Your money, which can be used for medicine and blankets and food, is needed:

International Red Cross

Medecins Sans Frontieres

A FB page with links to regional organizations in Japan that are operating in areas affected by the disaster right now, WITH ENGLISH INFO. It’s perhaps the quickest and most effective way to help: the organizations linked on that page are already there.

Every penny is needed!

Look

This girl is looking for her mum in the ruins of Kesennuma, a town that was destroyed by tsunami and a series of terrible fires. We can’t get her mum back, but we can make sure she’s got something to eat and a blanket.

Let’s do more than save a fish!

(Oh, and Tarah and Carisa? I’m normally vegetarian, but next time I’m eating out? I’ll happily munch a fish, thinking of you <3)

(Thanks to Palacsinta, who commented on my other blog, for the link <3)

* It really has been like that: I’ve been watching NHK all the time :(((

1) Victorian sex survey:

“I opened it up and there were these questionnaires”— questionnaires upon which dozens of women, most born before 1870, had inscribed their most intimate thoughts.

In other words, it was a sex survey. A Victorian sex survey. It is the earliest known study of its type, long preceding, for example, the 1947 and 1953 Kinsey Reports, whose oldest female respondents were born in the 1890s.

2) What can happen to an absolutely priceless artefact during WWII:

Within a few years, he’d pawned the tablet, along with rare coins, to purchase the liquor store, the attorney said. But he soon paid back the pawn broker and reclaimed the coins and tablet.

3) Constance McMillen thing. By now everybody surely must know what happened, so I’ll just point to the account of her school mate about the school mate’s trials and tribulations at the hands of the omnipotent attention-whoring Gay Mafia, pulled straight from the comment the cross-burning ignorant hick’s left at another blog (her name was later pulled from her public Facebook profile, and how stupid you have to be to have a public profile when there’s a bunch of data-hungry lawyers prowling the internet in search of damning evidence? The lawyers who, I hope, do have the Screengrap app). Gee, it’s JUST LIKE In the Grove:

What people are failing to realize is that much of the fault of this whole stink lies with Constance, not her mistreatment by the school district, but her crazy-reckless need for attention. It sounds mean and horrible and like we planned it all specifically to embarrass Constance, but we didn’t. We let her have her prom with her girlfriend and her tuxedo and we went to party it up in the “boondocks” not because we wanted her rights violated, but so we could salvage what has turned into a total fiasco

Well. I can think of someone who’s failing to realize things; it’s not “the people” (whoever they might be).

Also, there are some photos from the no gay, disabled,  and otherwise different folks allowed prom here (again, pulled from Facebook accounts of those involved, and  again, not very smart, I’d say. Good for Constance though).

The most spectacularly failtastic bit of fail comes with this, though:

So, I guess it’s OK for two girls to kiss, as long as they aren’t real lesbians? Very cunning. Also, a girl in the other photo is wearing JEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS.

I mean, jeans. This is hardcore stuff, guys. Like, a step away from fully fledged lesbianism or something. I’d pray for that girl, just in case.

As usual in cases like that, a plucky internet detective uncovered the Facebook groups those people (that is Itawamba blahblah  Highschool students) belong to and unsurprisingly:

And, if you look at the facebook profiles for the “secret prom” attendees you see the same pages recurring in their profiles:

Greenville Christian School
The Charleston Baptist Congregation
Little Creek Baptist Church
“I’m Proud To Be Christian” by Aaron Chavez Religious Center
Prayer In School Religious Center
I Love Jesus Religious Center
Freedom Rally 2010 “A call to Revival”
Dedicated to Christ
Going to Church Religious Center
God id Love Religious Organization
Jesus Daily Religious Organization
I’m a Christian & I’m Proud Religious Organization
The Resolve Tour Religious Organization
ChristBuild Inc Religious Organization
Christ In Action Non-Profit

CUTE. Clearly, what they need is moar Jesus in their lives OH WAIT-

Also, I personally agree with the following comment made about the latest developments in the Constance McMillen’s prom case:

If they [people who organised the no-;esbians-allowed prom — Sendai] keep digging that hole, they’ll soon be swimming in magma.

Dig faster.

I hope the original commenter will forgive me for quoting her verbatim, but I believe the comment i’s indicative of the attitude a sane person ought to preserve in face of the fail exhibited repeatedly by the Itawamba Highschool students, their parents and teachers, may a concert piano fall on their bigoted heads.

4) (I’m thinking about having a book-by-book reading orgy progress report on Twitter. Hmmm)

Guys! It’s morning.

I can tell it’s morning because I’ve only had two coffees, and therefore, the pesky clocks showing me it’s actually 3.12 pm can go and tick arrogantly somewhere else. But I digress!

It’s morning, 26 March 2010. This means an artist called Lady Gaga is currently very popular. Because of my continuing disinterest  in anything that isn’t awful, Petula Clark, more awful, and more awful than Petula Clark, I’m only vaguely aware that Lady Gaga is sort of pretty and wears pretty outfits.

But I digress.

The fact that Lady Gaga is popular means that people who aren’t me noticed her, too. It is actually sort of the point of the whole popularity thing. Some of those people are also much more interested in music than I am.

This can be achieved very easily.

But I digress.

One of those people is Amanda Palmer.  Amanda Palmer is a second-rate alternative (?) starlet who allegedly makes music. She would like to be Tori Amos, but can’t, because only Tori Amos can be Tori Amos. She would also like t be Lady Gaga, but can’t, so she goes for the second best thing, which is: being more edgy than Lady Gaga thus:

This is Amanda Palmer, spreading misinformation about how to be edgy. This is because she secretly wants her potential competitors to come off as gigantic bog-dwelling asswads

A brief analysis of Amamnda Palmer’s insightful tweet can show us two things:

1) She feels strongly about product placement.

2) She feels that her opinion about product placement needs to be expressed with a very poor metaphor that is in fact extremely offensive and upsetting to a lot of people whose friends and families have been killed, injured, threatened and terrorised by the members of the Klan over a period of many years. The metaphor is upsetting and offensive because none of those people, their friends, and families have ever been killed, injured, threatened and terrorised by product placement for being who they are.

Let me explain this with the aid of visual aids:

This is product placement:

By pasting a gigantic photo of Lavazza coffee I am surreptitiously encouraging you to consume more caffeine. Please note how it doesn’t hurt, injure, kill or terrorise you nor your friends or family.

This is what the Klan does:

Note how there isn’t any product placement involved.

This is a rainbow:

Notice how there is no Amanda Palmer anywhere near it.

Also, sometimes a visual aid is worth more than ten thousand words (warning: images of racist violence)

1. If at 14 you believe you’re ready to have children, you are of course wrong.

However, if ten or even twenty years later you persist in your delusion  belief  that you were ready to have children at 14? You are totes not ready to have children still.

Hilary Mantel thinks you should be popping out children at 14, which is, like, absolutely not influenced by her being infertile and unhappy about it. Oh, I do realise it must be a terrible tragedy for her, but for some people? Getting pregnant at the age 14 is, too.

(Pity she’s such a douche, her books seem like something I could pick up when my brain needs several days in a semi-enjoyable stand-by mode)

***

2. How (Not) to Write About Africa. (Un?)surprisingly some of those boring, offensive, ridiculous, dehumanizing tropes still persist. Also, an audiovisual aid for those less willing to read (there’re no Morning Musume in there, I promise!):

***

3. NHK website about hikikomori (wiki on hikikomori). I just want to say, at first I snickered at the irony of NHK of all places having a website about hikikomori stuff, then I got sucked in and spent about two hours reading through the FAQ (STATISTICS!!!!!!!!11!1!!).

It’s in Japanese, though.

***

4. Shakesville post about rape culture. I just want to say, I’m sooooooo happy I don’t have to write it.

***

5. How to sell your snake oil thing, or any kind of woo, really. Should be read together with any of Orac’s excellent posts about woomeisters always blaming the patient.

***

6. I’ll freely and nonchalantly admit I only discovered it about a week ago: English without non-Germanic words, aka Uncleftish Beholding. I will also admit that my brain tells me to visualise “uncleftish” every time I hear/see the (non) word.

Suffering ensues.

***

7. An interesting article about the cancer that is killing vampire fiction like you could kill the cancer that is vampire fiction with a different cancer hurr durr Twilight and cultural appropriation. What it lacks is a mention of the problematic portrayal of Quileute in the books (ahahahahaha, BOOKS AHAHAHAHA) in the first place, but this can be easily found with the help of Google and some resourceful typing.

***

8. The crazy terrorist anti-tax guy who crashed into an IRS office is being white-washed by his daughter thus:

Asked whether she considered her father a hero, Stack’s adult daughter, Samantha Dawn Bell, said during a telephone interview broadcast Monday on ABC’s “Good Morning America”: “Yes. Because now maybe people will listen.” But she stressed that his actions were “inappropriate.”

The catch: the daughter lives in Norway. NORWAY! One would think a greedy sociopath tax protester could find a better place to live than Norway:

– The basic tax rate is 28 % of the net income. The social security contribution is 7,8 % of the gross income. Therefore, the total tax rate rarely exceeds 36 %. However, on gross income exceeding NOK 456.400 (relevant as of salary grade 60) a surtax (toppskatt) of 9 % is levied. On gross income exceeding NOK 741.700 (relevant as of salary grade 82) a surtax of 12 % is levied. (source)

Seriously.

(Btw, the income tax is not all the tax that an individual has to pay in Norway. There’s also the so-called wealth tax, so in many cases you’d have to pay much moar)

(Mmmm, taxes  <3)

***

9. I discovered Vox Day(1), the most odious person and at the same time the most pretentious cretin on the internets. Seriously. I expect to have time to make fun of him properly soon.

***

In other news, I’ve been hearing rumours about late (as in, in June) spring in Poland this year. I might have to reconsider my spring break plans.

Also, wisdom tooth is a whore.

(1) Bad pun is  bad, especially as “dei” is totes not pronounced like that.

1. Figure skating is such a girly sport. Where by ‘girly’  clearly some sort of inferiority is meant.

This means that men who are exceptionally good at such a ‘girly’ thing can’t be, like, real men or something, like Johnny Weir:

“This may not be politically correct,” Mailhot said during the segment, in which Weir … was shown sporting a semi-sheer, pink-and-black costume he designed himself.

“But do you think he lost points due to his costume and his body language?”

Goldberg replied that Weir’s feminine style may reflect badly on other male figure skaters.

“They’ll think all the boys who skate will end up like him,” he said. “It sets a bad example.” (source)

Let me just-

Bad example?

There’s nothing offensive, insulting, ironic, sarcastic or cynical that could make this statement more ridiculous, absurd and surrealistic than it already is.  Mailhot is so stupid he’s like a parody of himself.

Also:

“We should make him [Johnny Weir] pass a gender test at this point,” Goldberg said, and Mailhot then jokingly suggested Weir should compete in the women’s competition. (source)

As if his complete gender fail weren’t enough, Mailhot&  Goldberg  also had to be offensive to trans people. Is there some sort of award they give for that sort of idiotic, mindless, thickety thick clueless fuckwittedness? Because, I’d like to propose Mr Mailhot as a candidate.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world can enjoy Johnny Weir dancing to Lady Gaga’s  Poker Face:

Somehow, the Koreans seemed pretty enthusiastic.

(I HATE PEOPLE WHO PREVENT ME FROM NOT CARING ABOUT THE OLYMPICS. MAILHOT WILL PAY ONE DAY)

2. The best game ever:

forevergeek.com where I got the cap says: so bad it's good. BAD??? BAD??? what a bunch of bitter, sad n00bs you all must be :(

My review will be very short and to the point: UNICORNS!!!!!!!1!!!!!

Also:

(via MRW <3<3<3)

3. Also, in Oppenheim, Rheinland-Pfalz, where I currently reside, it’s all Suddenly!Spring. BIZARRE VERY BIZARRE.

(for Dan <3)

Because this is about the amount of attention I believe we should give to ridiculous bigots like this one.  Specifically, I mean his laughably inane video about Rick Warren’s hidden homosexual agenda.

(The YT one is totes not available in Europe, but the one from WND should work just fine)

(Before I even start, I’d like to point out how absolutely unimpressed I am with Rick Warren’s fake claims  of concern for gay people. In fact, I’m so unimpressed I might even link to people who will explain to you why His Gay Agenda Is Pastede on Yey)

Anyway, this guy, Molotov, is, like, a real gem.  I mean, he thinks he’s funny or something. He says that people in Uganda should kill gay people because:

– Gen 9:6, Lev 20:13, Ex 22:19

BUT!

Gen 9:6 is actually the following quote:

Whoever sheds the blood of man,
by man shall his blood be shed;
for in the image of God
has God made man.

So, should we kill people who kill other people (that is to say, men)? Like, you know, the anti-gay bigots in Uganda? Ups.

Lev 20:16

‘If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

So, gay sex is Biblically OK as long as it’s between two (or more) women,  not men. Did the anti-gay bigots in Uganda take this into account when they drafted their bill?

I didn’t think so. Ups.

Ex 22:19

Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must be put to death.

In as much as humans are animals too, heterosexuals are having sexual relations with animals as well. In as much as having sex with members of a different species should be forbidden, it still has nothing to do with  anti-gay bigotry. Unless you’d want to argue that homosexuality makes you a member of a different species, which, hah, wouldn’t go down very well.

Ups. Try harder,  Molotov, try harder!

– “unless there are some Biblical passages that I’ve missed”

Yes, in fact quite a few. For starters Lev 11:9-12 or Lev 19:19, darling <3

– Killing people is OK ’cause it was God who created the death penalty

BUT!

Well, I went to check out the Book of Genesis again. I expected something like:

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he created  the death penalty, waterboarding and Superbowl commercials, and then he rested  from all his work.  And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he created the death penalty, waterboarding and Superbowl commercials, and  rested from all the work of creating that he had done. And then God watched Buffy.

You know, a little bit of omnipotent multitasking. I mean, I’ve normally a pretty relaxed attitude: show me a Bible verse, and I’ll laugh at you. Heartilly.

But this time? There was no quote!!!

Can you believe it?! The Bible never mentions god inventing the capital punishment and waterboarding! This must be the Liberal Bias showing, clearly.

– the USian Founding Fathers were totes for killing the gay with fire

BUT!

HURR DURR

Also, even if they were, what do they have to do with Uganda? Didn’t somebody say that Uganda is a sovereign nation around 1:55? Ups.

– Evil Homosexual king required all men in the kingdom [of Budanga] to submit to his sexual desires (wah wah wah)

BUT!

Orly? Also, what does it has to do with anything? I mean, in 1675 it came to light that the Marquise de Brinvilliers poisoned a lot of her relatives. Does it mean we should murder all French women now?

Didn’t think so, ups.

– persecuting gays is part of Ugandan culture

BUT!

Yes, ever since Xian missionaries taught people to hate the gay. Ups.

– liberuls only embrace multi-culturalism when it suits them

HURR DURR POT-KETTLE

– if they [the gays] don’t like the law, they can always leave!11!111

BUT!

Orly? Also, Molotov, princess, if you hate America with its distinct lack of legalised gay-killing, why don’t you just leave? Instead of posting spurious videos on YouTube? Ups.

– “Don’t think our Founding Fathers wouldn’t support this legislation.”

BUT!

How are they relevant? Uganda is an independent nation, after all. Also, clearly Molotov doesn’t think very often, does he?

– NOT LIEK THE NAZIS!11!!!!!

ORLY? Funny that you should mention it…

-NOT  WITCHHUNT!111!111!

ORLY:

“The term “witch-hunt” is often used by analogy to refer to panic-induced searches for perceived wrong-doers other than witches.”

-“they don’t want to kill homosexuals, they just want them to stop practicing the homosexual act”

Oh, because what two (or more) consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms concerns them how? Also, gee, thanks for being so tolerant! I mean, they could kill people like me! But in their boundless generosity, they will only shower them with the Xian love beat them up a bit, ruin their lives, maybe imprison them and kill them only if they’re really obstinate about not stopping to be gay.

I cried, a little.

And the cherry on top of epic fail:

-“Like the great Dr. King told us, ‘the moral arm of the universe is long but it bends towards justice.’ Ugandans, stay on the right side of history.”

Ooooh, I get it now! This is, clearly, the right wing logic sort of thing. This is when you say that when Bush started the war in Iraq, he was just liek Gandhi, and when Hitler started killing Jewish people, he was just liek Jesus, and Ted Haggard is a completely heterosexual magical glittery unicorn.

Sleep well, my prince Molotov.

BUT WAIT! I like happy endings, therefore, have some Gay Agenda (via nameste via mrw):

By now everyone must have surely heard about the terrible earthquake on Haiti, a country that has been continuously affected by every disaster possible for many years.

1. The number of dead is estimated to be between 50 – 100 000, and the number of people affected might be as large as 3 ooo ooo.

Therefore, it is imperative that we donate  money!

Medicins sans frontieres (you can select your country from the drop-down menu to the left)

Red Cross (international site, and the donation form is here)

UNICEF (international) (Germany) (Poland) (USA)

Meanwhile, the penny-pinching manwhores from the government of my country, Poland, generously pledged to donate 50 000$. This is FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. I’m not kidding.

As my friend said, half a cent per dead person, won’t even be enough for the obolus for Charon’s services.

When I go back for winter holidays, I pledge to eat the Prime Minister. I will then sell the footage of me eating the Prime Minister on Ebay, the proceeds will go to charity. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Meanwhile, the Canadians sure must feel proud to be Canadian:

The Government of Canada will match the contributions of individual Canadians to eligible Canadian charitable organizations in support of humanitarian and recovery efforts in response to the earthquake in Haiti, up to a total of $50 million. The Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) will allocate these funds to Canadian and international humanitarian and development organizations.

Yes. Yes. This is what everybody else  should be doing, too. Can I get a Canadian passport now? I’m a good law-abiding  investment citizen and will have two PhDs at some point!

2. Meanwhile, concerned Christians are showing the Christian love to the world by the means of, as usual, being complete, unabashed, inhuman, pathetic, self-centered fucking arseholes.

Exhibit one, Pat “Fucking arsehole” Robertson:

PAT ROBERTSON: And, you know, Kristi, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, “We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.” True story. And so, the devil said, “OK, it’s a deal.”

And they kicked the French out. You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other. Desperately poor. That island of Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle. On the one side is Haiti; on the other side is the Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, et cetera. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island. They need to have and we need to pray for them a great turning to God. And out of this tragedy, I’m optimistic something good may come. But right now, we’re helping the suffering people, and the suffering is unimaginable.

KRISTI WATTS (co-host): Absolutely, Pat.

Wow, the stupidity, inhumanity and uncannily hyaena-like behaviour are stupefying, which does not surprise me in the least. I mean, this is Pat Robertson? What did you expect? Pink teddy bears and roses?

Yeah, didn’t think so.

HOWEVER, what at least I didn’t know is that the “pact with the devil” thing is not something Le Fucking Arsehole made up on his own. No; it seems to be a spurious meme that has been circulating among Pentecostals for some time now, according to several sources:

1. Jean Gelin, a Haitian pastor.

For quite some time now, several articles on the Internet have mentioned the existence of an iron pig statue in Port-au-Prince as a monument to commemorate Haiti’s so-called pact with the devil through Vodou. The statue would be in remembrance of a pig that was killed during the gathering by the African slaves. In an effort to know more about that rumor, I contacted several authors about the exact location of the pig statue that’s incidentally nowhere to be found in the country. Their answer was complete silence, a simple apology, or just the removal of the reference from their texts.

2. Bartholomew’s Notes on Religion has several very interesting quotes as well as links to more resources:

This supposed pact has been obsessed over before by neo-Pentecostal Christians who regard spiritual causality as the directing force behind world events. In 2004, The Revealer noted the views of Terry W. Snow, country director of Youth with a Mission, who described the pact but also announced that it was at an end:

“2004 will be the official ending of the 200 year pact known as the Boukman Contract. (See below for more details.) Made by a slave named Boukman, who was considered to be a great witchdoctor, the contract surrendered the Haitian people to spiritual slavery through a voodoo ceremony, in exchange for their physical freedom. On the night of August 14, 1791 the sacrifice was made and the contract agreed to. However, it wouldn’t be until January 1, 1804 that Haiti was recognized as the first independent black nation in the world.”

(Also, another one of Bartholomew’s  entries in which he writes about a Pentecostal who believes that the Japanese (shintoistic) sun goddess Amaterasu is the Biblical harlot. Also, there are demonic influences.

I giggled while typing that. I guess Shinto must be the perfect opportunity for crackpots to emit drivel all over the memosphere. I mean, many parts of many rituals, including the ritual speech, are completely incomprehensible for modern scholars, not to mention modern Japanese. The opportunities for making up stuff are endless!)

3. Linked by Bartholomew is a fascinating, detailed post by Rachel Tabachnick which sheds some more light on the historical background of the entire legend. Unsurprisingly, there’s colonialism, racism, Christian asshattery and blood libel:

The Haitian revolution against their French masters put the “fear of God” into colonial empires around the world. It was believed that the rebellion could not have possibly been achieved by any other power than the devil himself. The myths were embellished by people like Sir Spencer St. John, a British consul to Haiti  who published the 1886 book The Black Republic. He claimed that “Vaudoux” practicing Haitians were cannibals who sacrificed children.  St. John’s writings were widely published to support the claim that Haitians were not capable of self-rule.  The characterization has since been used to justify “recolonizing” Haiti’s land and economy as a source of low wage labor, a struggle which continued for generations.

Gee, who would have thought? Also, more blood libel:

Following is an example of the propaganda used to promote Haiti’s National Day of Prayer in 1997, sponsored by “Vision Haiti.”

“Last week a baby was stolen from the hospital in St. Marc. The reason the child is to be sacrificed to appease the Voodoo gods for the so-called special day of celebration. There are generally two ways they sacrifice children. One is in a large grinding pot. They place the child in the pot and proceed to grind the child while still alive. The other way is even more demonic as they hang the child upside down by his feet and place a large bowl beneath him. The child hangs until dead as the body releases its fluids into the bowl. The bowl is then placed in the sun to dry. Afterward, the priest takes what is left of the young child and grinds the body into a powder to use for his Voodoo ceremony.Can you imagine?

This is the kind of satanic worship and bondage that has gripped the Haitian people for over 200 years.”

I’d like to say this surprises me, but no. Unfortunately not.

(Especially not after the blood libel urban legends spread about the Chinese by other fundie groups.)

This quote is particularly telling of the theist research standards:

In 2003 Jean-Bertrand Aristide, then president of Haiti,  recognized voodoo as an official state religion. Link to the BBC report. Subsequently Christianity Today published an October 2003 article reporting that this had created fears among some Christians concerned that Aristide might be planning to “renew the 200-year old pact with the devil.”  Christianity Today also repeated the infant abduction story although they stated that it was “unconfirmed.”

“Unconfirmed”. Awesome. But you know, they aren’t doing anything wrong! Just asking questions! Why wouldn’t they be allowed to just ask question? Think out loud? Wonder? The’re just conceeeerned!!!1111111

4. Finally, the Haiti ambassador in the US pwns Le Fucking Arsehole liek, totally:

“So, what pact the Haitians made with the devil has helped the United States become what it is (…)”

Oops. (Link goes to the delicious video, by the way.)

5. Also, the USian White House did something very right, too:

White House Says Haiti Statements by Robertson and Limbaugh Are “Really Stupid”

Yes, thank you for that.

6. And while we are at it, Le Fucking Dickwad, Rush Limbaugh, also was adamant about letting us know what his thoughts on yaoi Haiti are (I’m not linking to his website. Google it if you like):

“Would you trust that the money is going to go to Haiti?” Limbaugh said. “Would you trust that your name is going to end up on a mailing list for the Obama people to start asking you for campaign donations for him and other causes?”

Limbaugh added, “besides, we’ve already donated to Haiti.  It’s called the US income tax.”

Yeah riiiiiiight. Because you’re paying taxes so that the lazy foreign brown people can spend their lazy days not pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, while you work your arse off. Taxes, of course, have nothing at all to do with the existence of public schools, or public healthcare (oops, wrong country!), or, I dunno, public roads, maybe? No, of course not. All those things happen thanks to magic, wishful thinking and Jesus.

In that order.

In other words, die in a fire, Rush!

Also, I will now donate moar money out of spite.